All articles by Ian Martin – Page 8

  • Opinion

    Ian Martin

    2005-03-24T00:00:00Z

    The cladding is derived from a custard apple. The stuff inside is not important so is mostly rhubarb

  • Opinion

    Ian Martin

    2005-03-18T00:00:00Z

    Correctly predict ‘Budget Boost For Regeneration’. You’ve been Quangoed comes in at 12-1, then Go to Pub and Hair of Dog

  • Opinion

    Ian Martin

    2005-03-11T00:00:00Z

    Sitting in a Stalinist multi-level bachelor pad with shagpile carpet and a piranha pool is my client, ‘Comrade Orange’

  • Opinion

    Ian Martin

    2005-03-04T00:00:00Z

    ‘Every time I try bridge-building with architects, it wobbles. A pity, as we’ve a lot in common. They’re quite moany, aren’t they?’

  • Opinion

    Ian Martin

    2005-02-25T00:00:00Z

    Mr Farquear’say faces a further civil charge of lying unconscious in a plaza. We argue that this subverts the ‘Tyranny of the Vertical’

  • Opinion

    Ian Martin

    2005-02-18T00:00:00Z

    I look forward to a remake of The Wild One, with Johnny and his gang on a trail of latte-fuelled rudeness through Godalming

  • Opinion

    Ian Martin

    2005-02-11T00:00:00Z

    Naturally, there will be the usual moaning from small practices, shuffling around irritably in their dressing gowns

  • Opinion

    Ian Martin

    2005-02-04T00:00:00Z

    Text from R peeps in: ‘Any1 mention Thames G8way yet? NB must put qual design @ LOVE of procURment process’

  • Opinion

    Ian Martin

    2005-01-28T00:00:00Z

    This year all the big clients are more interested in getting into the Guinness Book of Records than winning the Stirling

  • Opinion

    Ian Martin

    2005-01-21T00:00:00Z

    Prescott calls our bluff. He’s called in some young mudflat regeneration crew called Urban Plop

  • Opinion

    Ian Martin

    2005-01-14T00:00:00Z

    Even if my quality of life doesn’t improve, at the very least I’ll have moved up a bra size by summer

  • Opinion

    Your stars for 2005

    2005-01-07T00:00:00Z

    Another tip is to digitally insert an image of a younger you in old photos featuring famous architects

  • Opinion

    Ian Martin

    2004-10-22T00:00:00Z

    MondayWorking breakfast (via videophone) with Norman, still aglow at getting Building of the Year for his Lewinsky Tower. “The only way is up, Norm,” I tell him. “These sausages are great.”His voice drops. Did I know he’s currently working on the “largest project on the planet”? I have three guesses. ...

  • Opinion

    Ian Martin

    2004-10-15T00:00:00Z

    I’d suggest putting them on the market as a boutique hotel, a Museum of Democracy and a religious timeshare

  • Opinion

    Ian Martin

    2004-10-08T00:00:00Z

    I tell her that unless she’s cycled here all the way from the town hall she has no moral authority whatsoever

  • Opinion

    Ian Martin

    2004-10-01T00:00:00Z

    Monday My old friend Nick Bugglesrings. The opening toga party’s off, yet again, for his Roman Spa Experience at Cheltenham.The scheme has now officially taken longer than Julius Caesar’s invasion of Britain. I caution him, in Latin, to watch out for backstabbing.Tuesday To the Labour Party’s wonkfest, where the buzzword ...

  • Opinion

    Ian Martin

    2004-09-24T00:00:00Z

    Lots of chrome and deep-pile carpet, complicated handshakes, Baroque hi-fis and “blinguistics”

  • Opinion

    Ian Martin

    2004-09-17T00:00:00Z

    Mostly everything is turd-shaped. Darcy says this is to do with a catharsis of the Aristotelian thought-world

  • Opinion

    Ian Martin

    2004-09-10T00:00:00Z

    With half the Beatles dead and Rooney gone to Manchester, Liverpool’s a city living on borrowed time…

  • Opinion

    Ian Martin

    2004-09-03T00:00:00Z

    The developers want me to ‘dequalitise’ my housing scheme, so as not to ‘inflexibilise’ design standards